Kinetic Television!

(Or, how to violate a television for its parts without violating any of the warning labels.)



A Zenith color television was given to us because it didn't work. We briefly considered repairing the thing, but who wants a functional television laying around the house? We might feel obligated to waste our precious time watching the idiot thing. We decided instead to scap the TV for parts - in particular, the filter capacitors, the flyback transformer, the horizontal oscillator capacitors, a few resistors, and that oh-so-tasty horizontal deflection drive transistor. Unfortunately, several ominous-looking warning stickers on the back of the TV warned against removing the back cover. Among other things, we were warned (with all due diligence) of HIGH VOLTAGE, and were told that there are "no user-servicable parts inside". Ignoring, for the moment, that a competent user can easily replace blown fuses, etc (even if it DOES require a soldering iron), and that the high voltage capacitors and the second anode can be easily and safely (and quietly!) discharged with a aligator clip lead and a 50K power resister, we decided that it would be best to obey the warning stickers. Those warning stickers are not to be taken lightly. They are there for OUR protection (and to keep Zenith from being sued - but that's only a secondary consideration).

What to do? We wanted those parts, which the TV so jelously hid from our view under its mocking, taunting back cover, but we couldn't remove the back cover - for our own safety. Inspiration struck when we realized that there were no warnings prohibiting us from going into the TV from the FRONT. The warnings only talked about the back! The complete lack of warnings about burrowing in through the picture tube made it clear that going in through the front was obviously the safe way to go! (Besides, there is only 1/2 inch of heavily leaded glass (gotta protect our viewers from those X-rays!), a layer of phosphors containing an interesting coctail of rare earths, a kovar shadow mask, 12 inches of hard vacuum, an alkali metal getter, and another 1/4 inch of lead glass to deal with when going through the front. What are these compared to the HIGH VOLTAGE that we would be exposed to if we were to remove the back cover?). Safety demanded going in through the front.

Unfortunately, we were unable to find anybody who was willing to beat their way through the front of the picture tube with a hammer while the picture tube was still under vaccuo. Excuses included phrases such as "an implosion in my face", "breathing a cloud of phosphors and glass", and "a face full of glass shards". Releasing the vacuum before breaking the picture tube could have been easily accomplished by gently breaking the fill nipple off the back of the picture tube or by puncturing the second anode kovar plug with a sharp implement (such as a nail), but both of those solutions would have required us to remove the back cover. Safety demanded a different way.

After much deliberation and research (although not necessarily in that order), it was decided that the safest method of going in through the front of the television would be to release the vacuum and break apart the picture tube in one quick, easy, completely safe, and utterly secure procedure - by dropping the television, face-first, off the top of a three-story building. As long as the landing zone was kept relatively free of people, and as long as we did not approach until the cloud of glass dust and phosphors had blown away, the procedure was guaranteed to be completely safe for all parties involved (except, of coarse, the TV). This procedure would certainly be safer then facing the dangerous high voltages that we would be exposed to if we were to remove the back cover!

Thus it came to be that a fine Zenith television was carefully and gingerly dropped off the top of a three story building, in the safest manner imaginable. After gracefully plummeting almost 60 feet, the TV gently came to rest on the asphalt (with the loud BOOM of almost a cubic foot of hard vacuum being suddenly released, a shower of flying glass shards, and a cloud of phosphors and powdered glass). After the glass powder and phosphors had dispersed, it was discovered that the coveted electronic parts were now easily accessable and completely un-damaged, and we didn't even have to remove the back cover! Another triumph of consumer protection and safety!


The TV after it came to rest on the asphalt.



The circuit board is now easily accessible - and the back cover is still in place (although slightly damaged).


We have been asked, not surprisingly, what we are going to do with the electronic parts which we so carefully and safely extracted from the television. We are going to use them to build a high voltage power supply.